Don't announce upcoming birthdays for memorial journals

[afuna]

Title:
Don't announce upcoming birthdays for memorial journals

Area:
notifications, birthdays,

Summary:
We should not send out birthday notifications for users who have passed away. We should not also show these in the list of upcoming birthdays in the logged-in homepage, or on the full birthdays list (http://www.dreamwidth.org/birthdays).

Description:
A memorial journal is a special status applied by site administrators to a journal, if informed that the owner has passed away. It preserves the journal in its current state (no new entries or comments), leaving it up for friends who might wish to revisit it at any time.

As far as I can tell (I've checked the code and I haven't seen anything that says we guard against this case) we send out birthday notifications even for memorial journals. This may come as an unpleasant and unavoidable annual surprise for friends of that person.

We should not announce the upcoming birthday, so we need to hide it in these places:
* email/inbox notifications
* birthdays list on the logged-in homepage
* full birthdays list (http://www.dreamwidth.org/birthdays)
* ...(any that I've missed?)

The birthday would still be displayed on the profile page, respecting any current privacy settings, so that the information would still be available for those who seek it out.

Poll #2502 Don't announce upcoming birthdays for memorial journals

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 93

View Respondents

This suggestion:

View Answers

Should be implemented as-is.
43 (46.2%)

Should be implemented with changes. (please comment)
37 (39.8%)

Shouldn't be implemented.
5 (5.4%)

(I have no opinion)
8 (8.6%)

(Other: please comment)
0 (0.0%)

Comments

[yvi]

Should the same be done for deleted journals or should I submit a separate suggestion for that?

[afuna]

Hmmm, maybe a separate suggestion. Notifications for deleted journals won't carry the same emotional weight, and would eventually be purged if the owner doesn't undelete, so we'd only get notifications at most once.

[yvi]

*nods* Sure, I'll submit one.

[zvi]

We're sort of assuming that the reminder is universally unwelcome, whereas I suspect that it's merely the case that only people who are bothered by the status quo have spoken about it, while people who are pleased with it have just quietly enjoyed without feeling the need to talk about it. This is one of those things where I actually think an option would be good, because I think the situation is very upsetting for those who don't like the status quo, but I think it's probably really comforting for those who do like the status quo.

[melannen]

This - part of the reason I keep those journals friended is that I like getting the reminders, and the birthdays are part of that. But I'm sure there are other people who find it distressing, so an option to turn off would be nice..

[lapillus]

+1

[dingsi]

+1

[stasha2g]

+1

[chagrined]

Also agreed on this.

[eruthros]

+1

[pale_moonlite]

+ 1

[ktnb]

+1

[saekhwa]

+1

[majoline]

+1

[quivo]

+1 on this. An option to turn it off would be just the thing

[rainbow]

+1

i very much enjoy seeing my late friends' birthdays show up. it's definitely a good feeling and a pleasant reminder of someone i love. i find the idea of them disappearing extremely upsetting and hurtful.

but giving the option of hiding memorial birthday reminders (so people for whom it's not a pleasant reminder of a loved one don't see them) is an excellent idea.

[ratcreature]

That's a good point. I can see how others might want to get these. I changed my vote to "with changes".

[yhlee]

+1

[elke_tanzer]

+1

[anatsuno]

+1, definitely.

[torachan]

Yes, it should be an option. Some people might want to be reminded. Also people's feelings may change over time. As viklikesfic said below, some people were upset by the reminder of valuna's birthday, but she also just died a few weeks ago, so it's still a very painful thing for some people. But in the future, when it's not such a fresh wound, some of those same people may want the reminder again.

[kerravonsen]

+1

[eleanorjane]

Could I suggest having it off by default, and having it be opt-in?

Those who want it off may feel like they're turning their backs on their friends' memories if they have to manually choose to have it off, whereas choosing to have it on is more of an affirmation and less likely (in my layperson's opinion) to upset people.

[zvi]

The problem with opt-in is discoverability. How will people find out that they can have birthday notifications for memorial journals if they haven't received a birthday notification from a memorial journal?

This is the sort of feature that is terrible from a discoverability standpoint, because it's not the sort that you would know to ask for, even if you didn't know where to look to turn it on. If we turned off birthday notifications for memorial journals, I bet new users would simply assume that that was a characteristic of memorial journals, that one no longer got birthday notices for them.

[kyrielle]

I think zvi is right, sadly. But perhaps, in addition to it being opt-out, any notifications about such a birthday could be accompanied by a little "click here to opt out of birthday reminders for memorial journals" message (probably not phrased that way as that's not little!)? I agree, it would feel like turning my back on them a little, but it would make it possible to realize I could. I don't see how to do the reverse, sadly, and make it discoverable if they just vanish.

[kyrielle]

I can see this point. Changed my vote. My initial response to the suggestion is "YES YES DEAR GODS YES" however, because I have notifications off at lj due to a couple journals that did this to me there for people who were gone.

[viklikesfic]

Oh I'm glad you thought of this. Though an option might be nice, I know a number of us have had trouble with notifications for valuna's birthday, as she recently passed away and her 50th bday is coming up. I've had to avoid the DW homepage all month because of that. I don't think hers is a "memorial journal," though.

[pauamma]

Hmm. If "take them off your watchlist/reading filter/whatever" isn't the answer, or not feasible in all cases, i would make that a separate subscription option(*), instead of preventing it altogether.

(*) Probably "only consider journal with those statusvis values", with the default being "all except expunged or renamed".

[azurelunatic]

If there have been no changes from the LJ implementation, I believe it does indeed send out those notifications.

[triadruid]

Best for me would be a per-journal option to opt-out of birthday notices (for example on a fictional character account, as well as memorial). But that's unlikely to happen, unless they switch to the subscription model.
Second best would be the ability to opt-out of birthday notices for $category.
Acceptable would be the status quo, where you must take them off your circle in some fashion to remove reminders. I am one of those people who are not bothered by these at all.
Detrimental would be any sort of opt-in for memorial accounts, removal from birthday lists, etc.